long way to heaven
by Lilli89
Summary: As a single parent of a teenage girl, Dr. Rhodes has a hard time of balancing work and parenthood. But things get rough, when a patient with a drug overdose leads to his own adress. Will he be able to prevent his own daughter from entering a dark, black hole?
1. Chapter 1

Note: I'm from europe. Probably my english sounds a bit strange. Although I hope you like the story.

None of the characters are mine. I don't own any characters.

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"Dr. Rhodes, you're not allowed in there."

Connor looked at April before he raised his eybrows in confusion.

"What is going on right here?"

The nurse turned her head, changing concerned views with Will Halstead who walked into the surgery room again.

"I was informed that we have a teenage girl with an overdose. This is gonna be my patient. You can't stop me from treating someone with symptoms like that. One of the medics told me, that she has trouble breathing and her heartbeat stopped. This is my special field, not Halsteads."

Getting serious glances from Dr. Charles side, Rhodes realized that there was something wrong.

"You've got to tell him."

April took a deep breath, a mix of sadness and fear in her eyes.

"Listen, Rhodes. They brought your daughter in. Amy was found in a serious condition, a few miles from your home. But Halstead is gonna do everything to save her."

She didn't even finished her sentence when Connor wanted to enter the ER fastly, but was holding back by Sexton and Charles.

"I gotta go! She's my daughter. Let me go!", he screamed and it finally took two other nurses to stop him from punching and fighting.

Finally it was Daniel Charles, who prevented him from making the situation even more bad than it already was.

"Alright, take a deep breath and calm down. Listen to me! There is nothing you can do. If you go in there right now, you probably kill her right away."

Charles placed his arms on Rhodes shoulders.

"Look at you. You're even not ready to hold a scalpel."

They both focused on his shaky fingers, before he broke down and took seat on one of the chairs at the visitors area. Luckily it was already late, so nobody else was there.

Rhodes hide his face with his hands. They were cold as eyes. Meanwhile Charles placed his arm on his back.

"What happened?", Connor asked in a tone, that sounded like he was ready to cry.

The psychiatrist shook his head.

"We don't know yet."

Rhodes sniffled, fought hard to hide the tears.

"Where have I been? What kind of father am I?"

His fist met with one of the empty chairs.

"Hey, let's not think about that right now. "

Charles patted on his knee.

"Amy is a tough girl. She's gonna make it. Trust me."

The door went open when Will Halstead entered the visitors area.

Rhodes jumped up.

"How is she? Come on, talk to me, Halstead", he screamed and nearly collapsed when Will closed his eyes.

" High dosage of cocaine, mixed with alcohol that could kill a cow. We tried CPR and it finally worked. But she's still in a critical condition. Eventually she's gonna make it. But that's not all I'm worried about."

"What do you mean?"

"Her kidney values are pretty bad. We connected her on dialysis. We're hopeful but we don't know if it comes from the drugs."

"You mean she has some kind of a kidney disease?"

"Can I talk to him alone for a minute?", Will asked Charles, who nodded in agreement.

"Sure", he left the room, leaving the two doctors on their own.

Halstead sat down next to Rhodes, seriously glancing at his workmate.

"Show me the results."

Will handled the documents to his colleague.

"It's not clear where it comes from. Did she take some other medication? Pain killers? Antibiotics? How much did she usually drink? I mean, soft drinks, like juice or water."

"I…I don't know. I wasn't at home."

Halstead sighed as he noticed how this whole thing put Rhodes in a bad shape.

"Father of the year, huh?", Connor whispered, noticing Halsteads compassionate view.

"Don't do that to yourself. There could be several reasons how this stuff passed her system. She probably drank a lot of alcohol. There aren't any signs that she gave the coke via injection.."

"So we're talking about oral consume?"

"Yeah,which means we're not sure if she really knew what she took."

Will stood up from his chair.

"Listen, there's something else you should know.I didn't report her, nor did I talk to Jay or someone else. It's just Charles, Sexton, Manning you and me. You hear me? But if this is going to happen again, I have no choice."

Rhodes looked at him in surprise.

"Why are you doing all that?"

Will shrugged his shoulders, twinkled.

"No questions asked. Stay with her."

Connor nodded, getting up to follow his colleage to the emergency room.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all of your support. I'm gonna answer any single review. It means the world to me.

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He looked at Amy. His hand stroked circles around her palm, uncertain if she was able to hear him.

She was still unconscious. Even if her test results were getting better, she was still in a bad shape.

Connor squeezed her hand, turned around when he heard steps coming from outside.

It was Manning, who looked at his daughter, a serious glance on her face.

Fastly Rhodes wiped his cheek and sniffled. He felt ashamed for being caught in such a situation like this.

"It's good that you're here."

"Too late."

"No."

Natalie grabbed a chair , took seat next to him.

"You know, when Daniel was born and I got the chance to held him for the first time, I swore that I would do everything that he becomes the men his father would be proud of. But when he started walking there was one day he joined me to buy some lunch at a store and the moment I turned around he walked away from the shopping cart. I searched everywhere. I didn't find him. It was just three seconds that could change my whole life into a nightmare. I was a wreck when I found him at the entrance. What I wanted to say is: You can't be everywhere all the time, Connor. I'm always concerned that my job is building up walls between us. I'm a single parent like you and I'm already scared how it works out if he's a teenager. But don't blame yourself for what happened this night. There will be ways to fix your problem but now her health hast he highest priority."

Rhodes nodded, thankful for her speech.

"Just stay here. If she wakes up, she's gonna need you. Trust me", Natalie explained, before she left the room, leaving Rhodes even more desperate.

Luckily he wasn't able to spend much time on the things she told him.

He already wanted to grab a coffee at the floor when he felt a move on his hand.

He stared back in disbelief, squeezed her fingers.

"Amy?"

The teenager old tossed and turned on the mattress, automatically touched the tube in her nose.

"Amy!", Rhodes repeated with a clearer voice, gentely removing the oxygen tube, while she opened her eyes.

"Dad?"

Connor smiled weakly, noticed how she started to cry. Apparently the memories came back.

"I'm so sorry."

"Shh…We gonna talk about it later, okay?"

She nodded while sobbing heavily. Connor didn't move. He just stared outside the window. Even if it was that easy to show emotions when she was asleep, he was unable to provide some comfort after she woke up…

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The days were passing by. With Amy feeling much better and the doctors keeping their secret, she was ready to be released from Chicago Med. But even her test results getting better, didn't change the frosty atmoshpere between father and daughter. Connor avoided longer visits. He just looked at her when she was already asleep, even if he watched her closely by having an eye on her markers.

It was the day of her release, when he decided to talk about the ongoing events.

The clock showed 10: 30 a.m when he knocked on her door, a serious glance on his face.

Amy looked up from her phone, stared at him in surprise.

"Today is the day, young lady."

"Where have you been?"

"Earning money for you to waste it on alcopops after you ruined my name for the upcoming years."

She started laughing sarcastically.

"You're funny."

"Not as funny as my daughter, who's seeking attention by playing a survival game. Tip from a superior: Next time add heroin. It's less painful and it guarantees a fast dead."

"It's what you want, isn't it?"

"Absolutely", Rhodes answered ironically.

"That's why I spent over 12 hours straight on your bed side, praying that you would survive the night", he screamed at her, and crossed his arms.

"Do you have any idea what you did to me? I had a good reputation until they brought you in. Be lucky, that me and Halstead have a deal, because otherwise you would stay in prison for drug abuse until becoming 18. I hope you're aware of that."

"Me, me, me. It's always about you. Be honest with yourself. You'd rather see me being dead right now, because that would be one burden falling from your shoulder. That's what I am for you. I'm just weight. You never really wanted me. And don't tell me you loved the idea of having a kid. You were in college when you became a father. That's how reality looks like."

Speechless Rhodes watched his daughter, who suddenly removed the tube on her arm. The blood spouted out, filled Natalies white clothes with splashs. She just came in, looked at Amy in shock.

"What are you doing?"

She held her back, put her to the bed, when she was ready to leave the room.

"Let me go! I hate you! All of you!", Amy shouted and started punching, when she was pressed to her mattress by Natalie and her own father.

Suddenly Amy freaked out completely. She fought and punched, only stopped after Dr. Charles came in and inserted an injection in her arm. The Benzodiazepine worked fastly. It only took her some minutes to fall asleep. Even if it didn't solve the problem.

"Connor, are you out of your mind?", Manning shouted, getting uncomprehending glances from both sides.

Rhodes, who just reacted on his own way, shook his head.

"You have no idea", he ran out the room, leaving two clueless doctors, that were looking at each other in disbelief...

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"You guys have a serious problem", Doctor Charles admitted , removing the glasses from his eyes.

"And it's getting bigger with every passing day."

Connor sighed, taking a sip from his coffee, before he placed it on Charles desk. His invitation already lasted 5 minutes and he was ready to leave Daniels office again.

"And?"

"You gonna loose her. If it's not by drugs or dangerous behaviour, she's gonna be put into the foster care system. Except you'r working on your relationship."

"So, it's my fault?"

"I didn't say that."

„Listen, Daniel it's not like I don't love her. It was nearly killing me, to see her that way. But I always feel that there is something between us. Like she hates me. And with every step I take, I make it even more worse."

" Yeah. Because you're anxious."

"No!"

„You're afraid of being a father, because you were abandoned by your own one."

"How do you know about that?"

"Not your business."

Charles started playing with his pen.

"You think it's the better way to avoid spending much more time with Amy than being confronted with your fears. You don't know what a father has to be like, because your Dad treats you like a loser. And to avoid being like him, you get out of her way in serious situations."

"That's insane."

"I don't mean it badly. I'm sure you're gonna make a good father. But dare to do something. Your story doesn't have to be Amys story."

Rhodes didn't know what to say.

"This kid is broken, Connor. She lost her mother and spends a lot of time on her own now. Teenagers are receptive for many bad influences at Amys age. That's why she needs a role model, whos pulling her through that."

"So what's your idea? Should I quit my job? Or become a nanny?"

"Show her that she's important to you. That she's worth to spend time with her. What about taking some days off? Just you and Amy?"

Charles opened his desk drawer.

"Right now?"

"Of course."

He handled him a key.

"There's an old cabin in the woods. I got it after my grandparents died."

Rhodes looked at him with wide eyes.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No."

Connor grabbed the keys.

"It's personal gift to special patients. Think about it and let me know later."

Connor already touched the door knob, when Charles started to speak again.

"She doesn't hate you.

"What makes you so sure?"

Daniel shrugged his shoulders.

"Figure it out."


	3. Chapter 3

**To the anon(s) who complained about Connor becoming a father so young: I won't change it. Indeed, Connor was really young when he he got Amy in this story, but since my cousin is the best example that you're able to have a baby at 18 and become a doctor too, it's possible. And don't forget. Connor has a rich backround. So money probably wasn't a problem when he was younger. Despite that I never told how old he is in my fanfiction. Furthermore I don't force anyone to read or like my script. So if you don't like the idea of having a teenager you're not forced to read it. And please: Don't forget. This isn't reality. It's just a fanfiction. Since we know he doesn't have a teenager in the show, you can complain about Amy being a fictional character too.**

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"I want to go home. Right now", Amy protested, sitting in the car, right next to her father, who rolled his eyes.

"Do I look like I love to drive, while having 86 degrees fahrenheit outside and without a working air conditioner?"

"So, why are we here?"

"Because we have to talk."

"Are you kidding me? You're abducting me for a ride to the boarder of Canada just to talk?"

"I'm not abducting anyone."

"Then, how do you call that? You stole my phone, activated the childlock without letting me out for over…"

She looked at her watch.

"3 hours, 23 minutes and 15 seconds."

Rhodes didn't answer, just focused on the street.

"You know what? I hope that wound from the tube will cause an infection and if that happens, I'm dying."

"You won't."

"I'm sure you would throw one of the biggest parties."

That was too much. Rhodes turned right, stopped when he entered one of the parking lot.

"What are we doing?"

He didn't respond, just turned off the engine, looked at her in a serious way.

"Alright, Amy. Why are you keep saying things like that?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Is that really what you think about me? That you're just a note on my bank account?"

She didn't answer, just remained in silence.

"Listen, I know what your mom meant to you. And I won't fill that lack. And it's not fair, and bad and I'm sure you miss her. But you're still my kid, my daughter. And you will be always the connection between Sophia and me. Although we split up two years ago."

"Great. Can we go on driving?"

Connor sighed, shaking his head, then starting the engine again. Even if he was sure, that he recognized tears in her eyes, she was able to let him feel miserable within minutes…

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Finally they didn't came far. The car stopped on their way to the cabin, so Connor prefered to search for a car repair shop. Since it already closed that day, they had to find a Motel to spend the night, until they continued their way to the mountains.

It was already midnight when they entered the room of their apartment.

To Amys sorrow there wasn't as much space, as she hoped for.

"Where is the second room?"

She searched for another bed, but failed.

"Oh no. Don't tell me we have to share the whole place together."

"Looks like it, huh?"

"I'm gonna sleep in the bath tube. There is a comfy bathroom, right on the floor"

"Sure, ready for any stranger who's coming in to have a crush on teenagers. Forget it."

"Come on. Everything is better than sharing a room with you. You're snoring."

"How do you know?"

"I was a kid who slept in his parents room."

Connor smiled weakly. For a minutes she couldn't help and chuckled too.

"Really?"

"I think so. But maybe I have another Dad?"

"What?"

Amy shrugged with her shoulders.

"Before I turned 12 I had another Dad", she repeated more clear.

"Excuse me?…"

Connor wanted to ask something else, when she already stepped away.

"I'm gonna take a shower. See you later."

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"What did you mean by saying you had another Dad?"

Amy changed the channel and sucked on her lollipop. The TV program seemed boring and sucked. But it was better than continuing his question and answer game.

"Hello, young lady? Is there anybody home?", Connor waved in front of her eyes, while lying on his side of the bed.

Amy wasn't ready to answer. She ignored his question, like she ignored him before.

Instead of responding, she hit another sensitive point.

"It was moms idea to keep me, wasn't it?"

"Excuse me?"

"You were in college when you became a father. Don't tell me a college student would chose to have a baby at this age."

"Are you playing Harakiri with me?"

"What?"

"It's a japanese name for someone who ist punishing himself to have a reason for others to get him killed. Again: Why all these questions?"

"How about answering?"

Connor groaned.

"Okay. Yeah, I won't lie to you. It was a shock and I was surprised. But we had enough trust that there was a way to figure something out."

"We? Does this mean mom or you?"

"We means me. You probably won't believe me, but your mom was the one, who hesitated."

"You're lying."

„I didn't expect anything else. You hate yourself, don't you?"

Amy bit her lips.

„Come on. I've seen the scratches on your arms. And don't tell me, you fell from the stairs or you accidentaly shaped your skin. You don't have to be a doctor to know about self-harm."

"If you're so sure, why do you want to know?"

"Because sometimes talking is much better than hiding everything inside."

"Depends on the one you're talking to, right?"

"Maybe."

She turned off the TV.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna get some sleep."

Connor looked at her in surprise, but shut off the light when she crawled to her side and closed her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Note: First I would like to give you some backround information on the story.**_

 _ **Connor split up with Amys mom around 4 years ago. He knew about Amy, but left her alone when her mom died to help people in a developing country for one year (he didn't know about the cancer and since him and Amys mother already seperated there wasn't a stable contact with her).**_  
 _ **Before they seperated he cared about Amy. After the seperation Amy lived with her mother (Sophia). Connor and his her had a really good father- daughter relationship before the seperation, but after leaving Amy alone for one year to help overseas , it became frosty. Amy blames Connor for not being there when she needed him the mos**_ t.

Furthermore I would like to thank Rocknrollprinces131 for beta-reading and MS Isabella for emotional support :)

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Finally their sleep ended early.

It was around 2:30 when he was woken up by sobbs and whimpers, forcing him to open his eyes, the sounds coming from right next to him. Tiredly he stood up, slowly walking to the edge of the bed.

"Amy?"

The sobs got louder. Connor searched for the button, eventually switched the bedside light on.

"Amy?" He continued calling her name. She tossed and turned in bed. Unlike the last time, it wasn't caused by medication.

"Amy, wake up", Connor softly clapped her cheeks, finally getting her to move upwards.

The cold sweat was running from her temple and she was shaking like he had never seen her before.

She looked at him with wide eyes, her glance full of sadness and fear.

"She's dying. Mum is dead. You have to help her. You…."

"Shhh…"

Her head fell into his chest, where desperate sobs escaped from her throat.

"It's alright. I got you. It's gonna be okay". He whispered.

Connor rubbed soothing circles on her shoulder, started to rock her in his arms to calm her down.

"I'm dying. They're coming to to get me. Dad, help me!"

"Amy, look at me."

As a doctor he knew how to evaluate her behavior. Charles would it call post traumatic stress as a result of loved people dying. Children and youngsters especially suffered from this phenomenum, after or just when they lost someone close who suffered from a deadly illness, like Amy did with her own mother. They started producing their own fears to other events, but it was even more horrible when it was his own daughter.

"I'm right here. No one's gonna hurt you."

"I'm dying too. My head burns. And my chest. Dad, please. Do something!"

He touched her forehead, that felt hot like she suffered from fever.

"It's alright. I'm here. You're gonna be okay."

Holding his shaking daughter in his arms, he felt his own blood pressure rising.

"Listen, I'm gonna get you some medicine, and meanwhile you take a deep breath for me, okay? In and out, in and out. Thats my girl" He kissed her head, running to his suitcase, praying that he didn't forget the pills at home. It was just lavender mixed with other homeopathic additives, but since she seemed to suffer from psycholocigal problems it would be the only ability to figure out if he was right.

Luckily he didn't forget about the pills, so he grabbed one of them before he placed some cold water on a towel and reached for the bottle of water to walk back to their bed.

"Alright, here you go. Take it. It's gonna help" Connor helped her drinking some sips of water while he gentely pressed the cold towel to her forehead.

Obviously she started to relax, her head still resting on his chest.

"Feeling better now?"

He noticed her breathing getting back to normal, as he rocked her in his arms again. She nodded mutely, still shaking.

"Don't leave me."

For a second he felt like his ears pranked him. Was she really the same girl, who seemed as cold as an ice-block a couple of hours ago? The girl that barely showed emotions?

"I won't. I'm right here with you."

"Okay."

"What about getting some sleep? You feel a little bit tired?"

"No!"

"Hey, I'm right next to you. No need to be afraid."

Her sniffles turned into hiccups.

"Can you look at my back? Is there any tumor or something else?"

He sighed, but behaved like examining her bones.  
"No sign of any abnormality . Everything's okay."

"Sure?"

"Absolutely."

He covered Amy with the blanket, touched her forehead with his palm, which seemed to have cooled down.

"Can I sleep in your arms? Mom always let me when you went to Ryjhad."

"Sure."

Rhodes swallowed hard, watching his daughter in concern.

"I'm sorry, Amy" He whispered with a raspy voice, then spread his hands to get her closer, until her head rested in the crook of his arm.

The room got more quiet. He felt her breath on the skin of his neck.

For a minute it felt like 9 years ago, after his 5 years old crawled into the parents bed on a Sunday morning.

"She's not gone. You're moms still here."

"Where?"

"In you" He kissed her head and closed his eyes, not sure if she really understood…

Listening to the constant heartbeat of her father, it only needed some minutes until she fell asleep again.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to rocknrollprincess for beta reading.

I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

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"Honestly, I don't remember anything of last night."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Then how do you call that? Nighttime amnesia?"

"Probably."

Father and daughter were sitting in the car, driving on the highway after they got their SUV back.

"We didn't talk about your drug experiment, did we?" Rhodes asked.

"There's nothing to tell you", Amy answered.

"I drank a lot of alcohol until some creepy guy put some coke into my drink. I just remember dancing around, telling everyone I was Tina Turner, being married to Frank Sinatra."

"Sounds like fun", Rhodes hissed sarcastically, changing the radio channel.

"Trust me, waking up with needles in your arms and tubes up your nose isn't worth it."

"So someone learned a lesson?"

"I will never understand how you're ready to do this job every single day. I mean, seven nights at Chicago Med and I would be ready for the psychiatric unit."

"Good try to distract me, Amy. Really!"

"What?"

"You're not done. I still want to know how my fourteen year old daughter enters a bar that isn't allowed for underaged children."

"You don't want to."

"The hell I do. Listen, Amy. Even if that whole trip feels like a game to you, both of us have a serious problem. If that happens again, and you make one small mistake, the consequences will hit ten times harder than last week. We've got eyes on us and I'm sick of telling you things twice, you know? From now on, this is your last chance to show that you're able to live with me. There are still other opportunities, but since I feel sorry for you and the way things worked out between us, I chose to give it a try."

Same as usual, the teenager reacted on her own way. Being that distracted from his own speech, Connor didn't notice that she felt sick, resulting that she started to puke seconds later.

"Oh no. Hang on."

He pulled over and stopped on the right side, next to the highway. Amy ran out, kneeled down and threw up loudly.

Rhodes stepped closer, handing her a tissue.

"You're okay?"

"Does it look like it?" She said breathlessly, rubbing over her mouth, silently walking back to the car.

Like Connor, she sat down on her old place. Instead of starting the engine, they remained parked.

"Interesting, that you feel sorry for me. That's what people say when they don't understand. Is it really that hard to speak it out? Saying "I love you" instead of telling me what kind of worthless person I am. A stupid girl that you have to feel sorry for. You want to know what the real problem is? I don't really know if I can rely on you. Every time I've needed you the most, you weren't there. Being here right now doesn't fit to you, don't you think? There must be some special reason, and it's defnietly not me. "

"Are you out of your mind?"

"That's what I should ask you? Where have you been since Mom died? You left me alone. You spend another fucking year in Ryjadh instead of staying with us. I was thirteen. Thirteen, Dad! I was a kid. You're all I have and you're always leaving me." Her crying sounded like echoes in his ears when she stepped out of the car.

"Sorry doesn't bring people back." He heard her saying as she walked away from the SUV. Realizing that she could get herself in trouble, Connor decided to get out on his own.

What in hell was she doing right now? Where did she go? From one minute to another, it seemed like she disappeared.

"Shit!" He shouted, helplessly taking some further steps, being relieved when he recognized her sitting on the beach, next to the lake that was located near the highway.

"This kid is goin to kill me." He mumbled to himself and entered the sand, having a hard time when he avoided to take off his shoes.  
Amy was sitting near the water. He couldn't help but smirk for a short moment when the memories hit him. She always used to love water and beaches. Whenever she was sad or angry it helped her getting down on her feet again.

Her shoulders sank and rose by the uncontrolled sobbing, but in contrast to last night, he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to keep her company. He kept his position for a couple of minutes, then silently sat down, with a distance between her. He just watched the waves, looking at the horizon.

"You're right. Sorry, doesn't bring people back. I'm an asshole sometimes."

Amy looked at her father in confusion.

"And you think, that's it?"

"No, but probably Charles was right. I'm afraid of being your father, because my old man hates me and tries everything to change my life to the worst. Your aunt was always the lucky kid."

"It's not that easy."

"It was my answer to your question."

She placed her head on her bent knees.

"Listen, Amy. I don't have a time machine. But if I could, I would do everything to spend the past year with you, to pull you through that month, concerning your mother's cancer. There is no excuse to make things better and you're right. Spending this year at Ryjadh was a big mistake, but I can't turn back time, you know? And if there's no way you would give us a second chance, than so be it. But…"

He cut his words short.

"But what?"

"I…want to let you know that you're worth fighting, and I won't give up on you and me."

"How often do you change your opinion?"

"I didn't. never had another one."

She kicked some stones into the lake.

"I want time, okay? We can't start by zero. If we move on, it needs trust and reliability." She sniffled. "I need to know that I can count on you, that you're not leaving me again."

"Okay."

Amy got up, looking him in the eyes for the first time that day, well over a minute. "Thank you for being there last night." She already turned around.

"I thought you forget about it." Connor said in surprise.

Amy shrugged her shoulders. "Some memories are coming back." She twinkled, quickly changing the subject because the shame was too much.

"By the way, what kind of pill did you give me?"

"It's my secret."

"Come on."

"Not yet."

"You think I'm a freak, don't you? Someone who's seeing ghosts in the middle of the night, crying like a baby."

He looked at her, a sad expression on his face. "No, I think that you're a really tough girl, that is pretty resilient for someone who has seen her own mother dying."

She concentrated on the sky again, not wanting to burst into tears in front of him. Crying means weakness and she was sick of being weak.

"I didn't. I wasn't with her, the day she passed away. "

"That's not true, Amy. Charles told me. You spent the rest of the night with her, and that's really intense, especially for a 13 year old girl."

She couldn't help but feel the tears coming back. For a minute it felt so real, that she could even smell the perfume of her mother. Like flashbacks she was picturing herself, sitting in a clean room with tubes and machines, holding her moms hand, praying that she won't die, praying for another day to come.

Recognizing a hand on her shoulder, she finally lost it and cried again.

"I miss her. I miss her so much." She let herself sink into the sand, feeling two strong arms that pulled her into a hug, taking all the pain she tried to cry out, when she sobbed into her fathers shoulder.

"I know. I miss her too, baby", Connor whispered in a trembling voice, constantly rubbing her back.

"It's okay to cry. Let it all out." He made clear. When he felt her sobs getting heavier, he tightened his grip.

There were no soothing words to take the pain she felt, so he decided to keep quiet and held her, until her sobs turned into sniffles.


	6. Chapter 6

For the rest of the drive, Amy fell asleep in her seat.

Connor turned down the volume of the radio to avoid her waking up.

Her hand remained in his own. Being a safe driver since he was 16, it was no problem to steer the car with five fingers.

After another 100 miles, he decided to take a break at a gas station. He filled the tank and ordered some sweets and groceries, before he went back to the car. To his surprise, Amy greeted him with a yawn. It seemed like she was waking up, looking around in confusion.

"Where are we?"

"Almost there. How are you feeling?"

She watched herself with the help of the exterior mirror.

"Better. Relieved. But I look like hell."

"It was time to get it out, mh?"

"Apparently."

Connor handled her the food, to disturb the intense moment of silence.

"Still a corn dog fan?"

"Absolutely", she took the sausages, biting into it and finished eating pretty fast.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You never talked about Saudi-Arabia or Africa. I mean the things you've seen. It was a rough time, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

He nodded confirming her question.

"And?"

"And I don't want you to become even more traumatized."

"Why didn't it traumatize you?"

"Did I say that?"

He turned the music off.

"The older you get, the stronger you become. Sometimes. Not always. I've been treating people in very critical conditions. Most of them living in developing parts of the country, so you can imagine how my days looked like."

"Alright, no questions."

"You got the point."

"Tell me about my birth then."

Connor looked at her in surprise.

"Wow, that's huge. I mean, it's a fast journey. From Saudi-arabia to your birth."

"You never talked about it. I always thought I was adopted."

"No, I guarantee you that you our biological kid."

"You've been at the delivery room?"

"Sure. You can bet your life on it! It was my first week at college and I worked at my grandfathers department store, when the hospital called. Your mom was in labor. It was 4 weeks before the birth date when she got contradictions. "

"So I was a primee."

"Yeah. Your mom freaked out. We were messed up, cause the doctors said, there was a chance you wouldn't survive. 2 hours later I got to hold you for the first time. I see it like it was yesterday. I was afraid that I would accidentaly hurt you. You were so small. One week after you were born we tried kangaroo care. It's when parent and baby have skin to skin contact. You were resting on my shoulder. All the tubes and monitors around you. It was incredible. I was ready to cry and to laugh at the same time, because we didn't know if there were any aftermath reactions. And yeah, you were right. I was totally overwhelmed. It challenged out relationship to a new point. But it was not on you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You still got photos from my first days?"

"I will show you as soon as we're getting home."

Connnor started the engine, already wanted to start driving, when he stopped.

"Waite a second."

He looked at the mirror in confusion.

"Huh? Did you see something?"

"Oh no."

Two black dressed people entered the gas station.

"Give me your phone. And don't turn around."

Amy glanced at him in shock

"Dad, what's going on?"

"Amy, do it!"

"Here."

"911. How can I help you?", a female voice requested.

"This is Connor Rhodes. I wanted to report a robbery in progress."

"What?!", Amy screamed, when her father put his hand on hers and squeezed it.

"Where?", the lady wanted to know. Connor looked around, shook his head.

"I don't know. Were on the highway, somewhere between Dodgeville and Friendship."

"Is it near a 7eleven?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Help is on the way."

Shots disturbed any silence.

"Put your head down!", Connor screamed to Amy, locking the car from the inside, so no one would be able to come in.

"Dad, what's going on?"

Rhodes shook his head.

"I don't know."

His eyes met with Amys.

"You're not getting out of the car. You hear me?"

She nodded, nervously biting her nails. The upcoming silence increased her fear.

They recognized loud male voices. Obviously they came back after getting what they want.

A white sedane was driving away with squeling tires.

Connor unlocked the SUV.

"What are you doing?"

"People are shot. I have to help. You stay here."

"Dad!", Amy cried, watching how her father ran into the gas station, what came out as a big mistake.

Being focused on any hurt civilians he didn't suspect that the offenders were nearer than he thought…

"I know that hurts. Help is on the way", Rhodes keeped the seller down, when further shots resounded near his car.

"Oh no", he stammered in shock, when the gun shots mixed up with the sirens from a police car.

"They're coming back", another employee screamed, while Rhodes condition changed from bad to worse.

Still being in shock he watched his car, being shot by the two men with ski masks until the police shot back and finally hit the offenders, that fall to the ground like dead bees.

"Amy", he said with a voice like an innocent school boy. The bandages fall to the ground.

"Excuse me sir, is there anything wrong with you?"

It was a dream. It had to be a nightmare and he would wake up every coming second. Sadly he didn't.

"Amy", he screamed, his adrenaline got him to run like a meniac, until he was stopped by the police.

"This is my daughter. My daughter is in the car. My daughter", he pointed tot he vehicle, finally managed to get out oft he grip, running to SUV.

"Amy! Amy!", he knocked on the windows, until the police caught him within seconds.

"Sir, what are you doing?"

"My daughter is in the car. She's still in there", Rhodes shouted, waiting fort he door to open.


	7. Chapter 7

Finally one of the officers managed to broke the window and a small shaking person, hiding under one oft he seats came to light.

Rhodes didn't hesitate. He pulled her in a hug, fastly, hiding his crying eyes, while he inhaled the soft scent of her shampoo. She was there. She was alive. They didn't hit her. Just some scratches and a grazing shot showed what just happened minutes ago.

"Excuse me, are you Mr. Rhodes? The guy who called 911?" The foreign voice of a cop disturbed the scene.

"He's a doctor", he heard his daughter saying but it sounded, like it was miles away.

"Help is on the way", one of the officers informed his colleagues, uncertain who needed it the most…

CMDCMDCMDCMD

"Sure you're okay? You're hands are trembling", the medic told Connor, who got the second pair of needle and suture at the ambulance after the first one was fallen to the ground .

"I want to get stitched by my Dad", Amy admitted, getting a nod from Rhodes.

"We're fine."

One of the medics reached into his pocket.

"Good, so here is a card from the next hospital. If you feel any need at all, you can drive there. It's about 20 miles from here and it's not far from Lakeville."

"Thank you", Connor whispered quietly, said good bye to the team, when they walked out oft he ambo, getting back to their car.

Still a little bit messed up he took a seat on the bonnet, touched Amys wound with his cloves.

"Be honest: You had a deal with Dr. Charles to make the trip a little bit varied." She smirked.

Connor gave her one of the most angry looks.

"Another word and you're gonna walk to our cabin, young lady. On foot."

"Come on, Dad. I'm alive". She told him, when he finally managed to get the needle through her wound.

"Ouch. That hurts."

Rhodes finished the second stitch fastly.

"Yeah, but it was like this close. They could have killed you." He indicated with his thumb and index finger.

"Waite, I wasn't the one who was leaving his own daughter to treat strangers. You walked out oft he car to play superman, leaving me in a war zone. Same as you did when you flew to Ryjahd. It's not the first time and…"

Amy stopped when she recognized the look in her fathers face. Connors lips trembled. Within minutes he turned around. Thats when she noticed that her words hit him harder than she expected.

"Dad?"

He didn't respond just walked away from the damaged car.

„Come on, Iwas joking. I know that you wanted to help. Would you please come back, so we can continue our ride?"

He shook his head no.

"Get back in the car", he sniffled and repeated his words, when she didn't move.

"I said, get back in the car", he screamed a little bit louder. Even if she knew him for over 14 years, she didn't remember a single situation where she caught him crying.

Quietly she did what he told her and watched him from the backseat.

Seeing him kneeling down, rubbing his eyes and face with a tissue made her shiver. Knowing that he was crying because of her, created a lumb in her throat. Finally she didn't suspect, that he suffered more, than she thought he would…

CMDCMDCMDCMD

The rest of the drive became a silent time.

Amy pretended to listen to her ipod, even if she couldn't because of empty batteries.

"Can you tell me something?", she finally interrupted the silence, when he turned off, cause they were getting close tot he cabin. Connor looked up at the mirror, nodded in confirmation.

"What about my dreams? I mean, what was that? Am I becoming a psycho? Explain it to me."

"I'm not Dr. Charles."

"So this means yes? I am a psychopath."

"That's not what I'm saying. It's not my special field."

„And that's it?"

Rhodes mouned, looked at the broken window on the passengers side, then glanced at the driving mirror.

"As doctors we call it aftermath effects of an posttraumatic event. That includes mortal agony and producing fears into other areas of life."

"Like waking up, thinking you have to die on cancer soon?"

"Most likely. Yeah."

"Did you have that too, after your mom died?"

Rhodes didn't answer and kept driving.

"Let's not talk about that right now, okay?"

Amy kept silent, pretended like she stared outside the window.

"How is your wound?"

"Hurts here and then."

"You should cool it, as soon as we reach the cabin."

Luckily it just needed another 10 minutes until they arrived in the woods. Dr. Charles didn't overact. It was a beautiful log Cabin offering everything you could expect if you want to take some days off.

Connor looked around, totally impressed by the furniture.

"Wow, look at that. It even has a fireplace", he told Amy, who explored the neighborhood rooms.

"And two bedrooms and a bookshelf full of adventures. Dr. Charles has a good taste. By the way: How long are you planning to stay here?"

Connor opened the refrigerator, handled a cold pack to his daughter.

"Let's see. Probably three days, maybe more."

"Was it his idea or yours?"

Rhodes looked at her, uncertain what she talked about.

"The trip. Come on, Dad. He's not giving you the keys for fun. Did you owe him something?"

"Will you ever stop being that curious?"

"I'm your child. What else did you expect?"


End file.
